Let me guess - you humans know JACK SHIT about us - about the only thing you DO know is we're fun to run over on I-95 - RIGHT?? Admit it will you and I'll have just a LITTLE bit more respect for you humans (but NOT MUCH) You like running over us poor bastards 'cause we're not as messy or as big as dogs, and when your tires go over us it makes a soft, almost pleasing "thud" sound. RIGHT!? You sick bastards!
What do we eat? Any clue?
We eat about ANYTHING - we eat bugs, mice, rats, slugs, worms, cat and dog food, YOUR food, berries - anything! (That's called "omnivorous" dumb hick human)
So there - you learned something today - now learn THIS!:
Last night on I-95:
Susan Logglestone - DEAD - run over by what looks like a 80's model VW of some sort. Susan lived over by my Aunt and I'd see Susan out in her yard tending the chores. She always made sure to bend over at JUST the right time when I was walking by - which always led me to believe Susan Logglestone may have wanted me in some way? Anyway she's DEAD now so never mind.
Rip AND Carl Thundersnap - yep - BOTH of them dead. Off exit 397 on I-95 their bodies were discovered this morning. I never cared for either of these guys personally - so good riddance. They were both bullies.
2 Unidentified - one male and one female - both run over by what looks to be the same car - were they lovers? Holding hands perhaps while they dashed across I-95? We may never know - but the girl has one hell of an ass on her and I swear I can almost make out a faint smile on the face of the guy 'possum! I'm serious!